First days Toronto

Well I guess I should be doing this in german but the whole should-be-kind-of-thing was never something I was particularly good at.

There’s something opening up inside me as soon as I leave home – if Germany is to be considered home… Somehow the taxi driver yesterday provided more home than a taxi driver in Berlin. Might be it was just the fact that he was so interested in where I should go and how I could save money when going there… Which inculded cheating advices in order to get up to the CN tower for free. This kind of advice is what I’m used to from my croatian background so maybe that’s why it came accross so familiar… Being picked up from an airport is coming home, too, someone who takes over telling the taxi driver the direction to drive to… seems like home has a lot to do with feeling like somebody’s child… Which leads straight to the lady I’m sharing a house with now. My way of being a child in her presence couldn’t be more different then the way I used to be when I really was a child, but something in her suggests a healthy nurturing that I only remember from those days. Might be times have changed, too, but isn’t that a grown-ups-sentence? Might also be the combiniation of slavic straightforwardness and a warm glance right afterwards is so familiar, might be this rare and irritating combination of people insisting how selfish one has to turn in order to survive this world and at the same time offering you help you would never have asked for…

Normally, being abroad instantly brings me in the mood for comparing, for sorting out the familiar from the unfamiliar… this time, might be due to all the travelling I did the past few months, I refuse doing it, I just slip into one moment after the other, might as well call it jetleg: too tired to judge… whereas judging gets less and less interesting the more you travel, slipping from one moment to the other gets more and more important… it’s as if this consistency of inconsistency is the only thing you can really stick to while travelling, the only way to feel prepared… more possibilities, less judegment… Though this effect is onesided: the country back home, in my case germany, ist being judged to death… The more choice you experience the less you can accept as given… haven’t I said the other way round just a few seconds before? I have and I consider both true… The country of your upbringing is in anyway the most restricting, the formula for bringing abroad experiences back to reality at home is almost as hard as finding the alchemists formula for turning shit into gold…. Moments of softness, of unintended observing, alternate with moments of harshness and impatience with everything that could be different back home…

Then again: spent the evening at SMASH theatre… They are showing part of Igor Bauersimas Play Norway Today and are talking so warmly about it. One is moved by how little in fact must separate us. How comes art is the best diplomat around? How comes artist are so little afraid of the seperating but see the uniting elements underneath every work? It’s when we need to express something utterly human that all of a sudden differences are just perceived as „other ways of the same“.

What defenitely is not the same is the empanada I bought yesterday in a german-owned deli, sold by a hyperblonde polish woman and tasted like the promises of my argentinian friend back in Germany. By the way, I can’t belive the subway system being the easiest in the world. Maybe Rome is just as easy – but that’s about it… Every train arriving is the right train. What a difference from the L-trains and N-trains of NYC, the Local Trains and Night Expresses there and what else you need to know to be thrown out on the right spot…

And I haven’t seen that much snow since Winnipeg starred in SNOWCAKE. Now that we are back to movies: Wonderful Sarah Polley won all wonderful prices Canada has to offer. In the same time they are enacting a law that gives less governmental support for canadian independent film. Which is – from the very beginning – an interesting contradiction in itself. The usage of independent so far suggesd a very democratic and self-aware cultural policy that would help the artist feel indepent from mass distaste and profit. Rumour has it that independent is now turning into independent from governmental support, which makes things harder for ambitious artists. Tonight I’m visiting Isabel Bader Theater to hear Atom Egoyan talk and I’m sure I’ll understand more about that issue afterwards.

Here in the Munk Centre they had a fundraisng lunch today which for me meant a diversity of food I have rarely seen on one single table… The whole staff brought some of her or his wife’s specialty’s… It all comes so natural but you defenitely gotta get used to the spices.

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3 thoughts on “First days Toronto

  1. welcome to toronto! i hope you enjoy your stay!

    bin ja gespannt, wie deine tage werden. mit anderen gewürzen, menschen, gerüchen, farben, kulturen …

  2. servus,

    „There’s something opening up inside me as soon as I leave home – “

    so muß das sein!
    was kann man alles herausfinden, wenn man sich aus der gewohnten umgebung hinauswagt, von den vertrauten menschen und den rollen, in die man sich hineinbegibt, fort

    dramatische selbstentdeckungen kanns geben:
    das bin ich auch!
    das kann ich auch!

    oder vielleicht sogar:
    das bin ich!
    das kann ich!

    wünsch dir das allerbeste
    SV

  3. if you miss germany or your home, here german restaurants:

    Little Bavaria, 3222 Eglinton Avenue East

    The Musket, 40 Advance Road
    Etobicoke, ON M8Z 2T4

    guten appetit!!

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