The second snowstorm is announced for tomorrow. All the snow in the streets puts a layer onto the world that is comforting. As if you are left in peace, no flowers, no spring, the world does’t ask you to admire it, you’re just well protected in the white overcoat of the world’s surface. Everything is slowing down and I start understanding why Alice Munro’s short stories are so filled with flawless observation. There’s nothing to distract you, thoughts enter your mind in the clearest of all possible ways. I’m coming back to how much I loved being a writer, what a gift I felt in my desire to express what I experienced as world. When you are at home struggling over interviews and expectations you start forgetting what it was you so desperately wanted at first. At least that’s what happens to me. The more I talk about being a writer the less I feel like a writer. Thomas Berhard’s rufusal of being a writer is very close to me. I’m not a writer, he says, I’m someone who writes. The difference might be comparable to what happenps when lovers become husbands and wives. There’s something in the clarity of this etquette that on the one hand confirms the feeling one first hand and on the other hand is able to destroy it. So the power of word is ambiguous: first you start looking for the right word, the perfect word, the adeqaute sentence to express it as good as it gets and then, in an instant, after you grasped it, it’s lost. Might be the reason why many writers newer use the so-called big words, why many writers start shaking when it comes to conversation with people who know so well. Knowing well is the end of evry desire to get to know something by expressing it. Expressing something is certainly fueled by mistery and the adventure of getting to know the unknown. It’s the inherent contradiction in being an artist that one wants to know and not know at the same time. In a way this came clear to me being surrounded by scientistst whose desire and passion is knowing. While scientists need facts about reality to talk about reality artists need the gap between emotions and reality to create -another- reality. So far for today, out of my office in the Munk Centre that provides more peace than I ever imagined when I took off for Canada.